| The following is a report that indicates how you | | | | perfect.10) Other Skills to Improve your Life - |
| might recognize suicidals, and how you might deal | | | | There are some other approaches you can use |
| with them. But a warning: Suicide can be a very | | | | to lessen suicidal tendencies. Some of these are 1) |
| complex issue, and it might be better to have a | | | | learning how to become more assertive, 2) |
| professional deal with this issue if it comes up, but | | | | improving your relationship-enhancement skills by |
| if this is very difficult to attain, this guide is a very | | | | making your presence known to others, being |
| good alternative to follow if you have no other | | | | responsive to kind words and invitations, making a |
| solution to the problem.CHOOSING TO LIVE by | | | | point of treating others with consideration and |
| Dr. Thomas E. Ellis & Dr. Cory F.NewmanA suicidal | | | | respect, and learning relationship skills through how |
| person once said "It's like I want to be dead, but | | | | you associate with your pets, and 3) involving |
| not forever:"1) Suicide is an Ugly Word. - To help | | | | yourself strongly in helping other people.11) |
| get rid of this stigma, you should think of suicide | | | | Developing a Philosophy of Life - But behind all |
| as a problem-solving situation. Basically there is no | | | | these techniques, one has to discover a new, but |
| such thing as a rational suicide.2)Who are the | | | | meaningful philosophy of life for these potential |
| Suicidals? - Basically there are two types. They | | | | suicidals, so that they would CHOOSE TO LIVE a |
| are either extremely depressed (mostly men), or | | | | much more abundant life, as opposed to dying |
| they are extremely controlling (mostly women). | | | | prematurely.Appendix - Guide for Concerned |
| The extremely depressed are interested in death | | | | FriendsSigns to Look for1) The person talks about |
| (life is too painful) whereas the extremely | | | | suicide.2) The person makes final plans. (gives |
| controlling just want attention and are afraid of | | | | away prized possessions)3) The person's behavior |
| abandonment. One way in dealing with the | | | | pattern changes in disturbing ways.4) The person |
| extremely depressed, if you can eliminate the | | | | behaves in ways that are self-injurious or stem to |
| stigma in talking about suicide, is to set up two | | | | invite danger or harm.5) The person has |
| columns (one headed "advantages of living" and | | | | experienced significant losses in a short period of |
| the other headed "advantages of dying") on a | | | | time.6) The person suffers from a chronic |
| piece of paper, and have the potential Suicidal list | | | | illness.7) The person has suffered extreme social |
| the various advantages as he or she sees it. If | | | | humiliation.8) The person abuses mind-altering |
| the advantages of dying outweigh the advantages | | | | substances and has access to firearms or other |
| of living, the counselor has to work with the | | | | instruments of self-destruction.9) The person has |
| potential suicidal on the advantages of living. Some | | | | tried it before.10) Suicide seems to run in the |
| of the risk factors that one should look for in | | | | family.In any of these situations, don't overreact |
| assessing whether one is suicidal or not are 1) has | | | | or under-react, take the middle ground and |
| he or she tried it before, 2) has suicide been part | | | | dialogue with the suicidal to see what's really going |
| of the family's history, 3) is the person deeply | | | | on with him or her in a very calm, and |
| depressed or extremely withdrawn, 4) is there | | | | nonjudgmental way. But don't ever feel his or her |
| excessive substance abuse, and 5) is there a | | | | feelings are your responsibility. They have to |
| specific plan in place to commit suicide.3)Who are | | | | make the choice themselves whether they want |
| the Suicidals - Continued - They are usually the | | | | to live or die.Summary of the book by Corbin M. |
| people with strong negative backgrounds, either | | | | WrightA Question on Internet: If a person is |
| genetically or environmentally. And to help those | | | | terminally ill, has excruciating pain that can't be |
| with this heritage, it's good to continue | | | | relieved, and/or is so frustrated that they can't |
| encouraging those with these suicide tendencies | | | | do anything for themselves anymore and desires |
| to continue listing reasons for living on a piece of | | | | to die, is mercy killing a viable option?1) Corbin |
| paper.4) Should Suicidals be Changed? - No, but | | | | says: I personally don't feel that I can do this, but |
| their decision-making skills have to be greatly | | | | at the same time I feel it really would be a |
| improved, which means they have to see both | | | | tough choice to make if a request like this were |
| sides of an issue in order to make an intelligent | | | | made.2) Sandra says: A very sensitive subject |
| decision. This means they also have to see the | | | | indeed. However, life is precious to the Creator |
| advantages of suicide with their various downsides | | | | and his son so |
| in order to make an intelligent choice. This should | | | | there really would be many things to consider. |
| all be done on paper as well so that the potential | | | | What really is mercy killing? My mother became ill |
| suicidals can see it all written down before them.5) | | | | with a terminal illness, and she had us sign a |
| Handling a Suicidal Impulse Crisis.- One should try | | | | document not to use any artificial means to |
| to delay the suicidal impulse crisis, so that the | | | | prolong her life. We did this and felt it was right, |
| crisis would no longer be so urgent to complete. | | | | although I'm not sure you'd call |
| And to do this you could encourage the Suicidal to | | | | this mercy killing.3) Susan says: For one thing, I |
| sleep it off, talk to a trusted friend about their | | | | really don't think that anyone who hasn't first-hand |
| situation, (This is why the Suicide Prevention | | | | experience with someone |
| hotline is so important), or call 911 or any other | | | | they love, dying in excruciating agony over a long |
| emergency telephone number. A longer delaying | | | | short term, can really understand the full-depth of |
| tactic could be to have them reflect in writing on | | | | this. My father died at the age of 48 after a long |
| any unfinished business they would want to | | | | and excruciatingly painful illness, despite taking |
| accomplish before they die, and encourage them | | | | many painkillers. He was a strong Believer and did |
| to pursue these goals. Then they should start to | | | | not ask anyone to relieve him of his suffering |
| enjoy living again. And a third possibility would be | | | | through mercy killing. I myself don't know |
| for the Suicidals to begin nurturing themselves by | | | | whether I could stand the |
| keeping themselves well groomed, listening to | | | | agony my father had to go through in his illness. |
| soothing music, enjoying good food, appreciating | | | | Therefore I really think people should have this |
| beautiful scenes or looking after their pets. But | | | | choice of assisted suicide. On the other hand, I |
| this will take some initial will power.6) Thinking and | | | | know a couple who had a baby who doctors said |
| Feeling -You feel what you think, whether | | | | had no chance of living a normal life, yet at the |
| consciously or unconsciously, but your thoughts | | | | age of 4, this boy was living as normal alife as |
| are not necessarily facts.7) How to Change One's | | | | any normal 4 year old boy would.4) Tom says: A |
| Thinking - To change one's negative suicidal | | | | number of people have asked me to help them |
| feelings, one has to change one's thinking. There | | | | die, but I couldn't do it. The only thing I did was to |
| are several ways in which to do this. There is the | | | | allow a person the blessing of release from this |
| functional approach (after the negative thought | | | | life.5) Pamie says: My human self often feels the |
| surfaces, ask yourself where is it getting me), the | | | | choice should be the individuals, my spiritual self |
| logical/empirical approach (after the negative | | | | feels God |
| thought surfaces, ask yourself where is the | | | | is giving the experience of this suffering for |
| evidence for such a thought), and the questioning | | | | some purpose. I so wish the 2 selves would meet |
| approach (after the negative thought surfaces, | | | | at times.6) Sarah says: I think that there is a |
| ask yourself are there other possibilities for such | | | | strong case for allowing people who are terminally |
| a happening). You can try all these approaches | | | | ill and suffering |
| and see what works best for you. Everyone is | | | | dreadfully to die with dignity, and if they are |
| different. But always do this in writing because it | | | | unable to do it for themselves, I think that they |
| stays with you much longer, and persevere in | | | | should be allowed to be helped to die. It is almost |
| your efforts because it's only successful if you | | | | certainly not according to Christian principles, but |
| keep on trying. And if none of these methods | | | | neither is forcing people to undergo appalling |
| work, try the behavior approach whereby do the | | | | suffering and complete loss of |
| opposite of what you're feeling, because | | | | dignity, not to mention the knowledge that their |
| eventually your behavior will start to effect and | | | | families and friends are also suffering watching |
| change your thinking.8) Coping with Suicidal | | | | them go through this. It really would be easier to |
| Feelings - There are also ways to accommodate | | | | ask a doctor to administer an overdose or |
| your feelings while you're in the process of | | | | whatever than to do it yourself. However, I |
| adjusting your thinking. This can be done by | | | | believe that if I loved the sufferer very much I |
| obtaining support from empathizers, ventilating | | | | would be able and willing to do it. I cannot speak |
| your feelings appropriately, engaging in | | | | for anyone else. The problem then would be: |
| constructive distractions, or participating in | | | | Would I love the person enough to go to prison |
| enjoyable recreational activities, and practicing | | | | for it? That's hard. I don't know.The names of the |
| various relaxation techniques (ie, meditation).9) | | | | commentarians have been changed, except for |
| Learning to Solve Problems - Suicidals actually | | | | myself, to protect the privacy of the Internet |
| believe that death is the solution to all problems, | | | | contributors, but their comments are |
| but suicide is really the problem to end all solutions. | | | | accurate.Corbin Melvin Wright was born in New |
| So if you want to solve problems, you have to | | | | York City in 1931, grew up on Long Island, |
| forget about death. And if you're underestimating | | | | graduated from Roanoke College in Virginia with a |
| your ability to solve problems, you should look at | | | | BA in Political Science, and from New York |
| your past experience in recalling if you solved | | | | Theological Seminary with a Masters in Religious |
| other people's problems as well as your own.. If | | | | Education. Corbin became a committed Christian in |
| you did, it suggests that you still have the | | | | 1958, and after a number of years became a |
| capability in solving problems. But what are the | | | | committed Ecumenical Christian. Corbin worked as |
| ingredients that you need in order to solve | | | | an accountant in various companies for about 25 |
| problems efficiently. There are actually 6. They | | | | years in New York City, then moved down to |
| are 1) that you have to have the problem-solving | | | | Argentina and worked for about 21 years as a |
| mind-set, 2) that you have to have the ability to | | | | Business English converstionalist teacher with |
| define the problem, 3) that you have to have the | | | | some of the top managers. Corbin also became a |
| ability to generate alternative ideas to solve | | | | Stephen Minister |
| problems (brainstorming), 4) that you have to | | | | (trained counselor) while down here. He has been |
| evaluate these ideas and decide on a course of | | | | married twice (the last to an Argentine), widowed |
| action, 5) that you then have to take this action | | | | once, no children, one cat. If you wish to contact |
| and test the results, and 6) that you have to | | | | Corbin, you can write to him at (). |
| realize that the results don't have to be | | | | |