| As birth moved out of the home, and families | | | | and talked with her about her fear, got the |
| were splintered by the birth experience, birth no | | | | mother to smile, and the little girl joined her family |
| longer was a family event. Birth became | | | | for the birth. 8 The Thompson family had a |
| dehumanized. With the return to home and with | | | | number of children born at home and all of them |
| the consumer demands for more "home-like" | | | | remember the events as being very exciting and |
| settings in institutions, the concept of children at | | | | filled with joy. The husband of one of the |
| birth has became a "problem" that needs special | | | | daughters comments, "At one time, I believed |
| preparation, classes and advice from "experts". I | | | | having a baby was just the same as having your |
| have a very strong prejudice regarding children's | | | | appendix removed. It always seemed like it was a |
| presence at birth -- if the mother and father | | | | matter of life and death..." After the homebirth of |
| want their children present at the birth and if the | | | | his niece, whom he saw within 5 minutes of her |
| children want to be there, then that is how that | | | | birth, he said, "I can't believe that something so |
| family should have their birth. This is their family. | | | | complex could be so simple and beautiful." |
| To quote Marjie Hathaway, the family is "a | | | | Although he was an adult, his impression |
| necessary and holy institution." A midwife's job is | | | | expresses what so many children feel but are |
| to support and empower families. 1, 2Why should | | | | unable to articulate. 9 Sue Hathaway, 15, spoke at |
| children be present?*bonding *positive sex | | | | a NAPSAC conference about her experience |
| education *an appreciation of fear and pain *to | | | | watchilng her youngest sibling be born. Her |
| witness a miracle *be helpful and encouraging *be | | | | concluding comment was "If you are not going to |
| a part of the whole family *maybe diminish sibling | | | | learn from your parents about having babies, who |
| jealosy Why should children not be present? | | | | is going to teach you?" Jonathan Stewart also |
| *negative feelings about sex, birth *fear of the | | | | spoke at that NAPSAC conference. His |
| unknown *lost modesty for mother *shock at | | | | recollections of the births of his 4 siblings were of |
| seeing "forbidden body parts" *pain might frighten | | | | wonder, "pleasant memories", and he remembers |
| child *potential for nightmares 3, 4How some | | | | very little blood. Younger brother Keith, upon |
| parents decideSome families are very | | | | seeing his newest brother just be born, blurted |
| comfortable being with their children in various | | | | out, "Look, Mom, he is naked." Ten-year-old Lora |
| stages of dress or undress, occasionally share | | | | in remembering the her brother's birth says "I felt |
| their bed with a child and are easily able to discuss | | | | love in my heart. . . I felt close to him." 10 Shiela |
| any topic that arises with their children. Other | | | | Kitzinger interviewed a couple of women whose |
| families are very modest and avoid discussions | | | | older child slept until the baby was just born and |
| about body parts or sex. There is no right way, | | | | then awaoke and joined the family on the birth |
| but for a family contemplating a birth with children | | | | bed. Said one, "Julie woke up to find a sister had |
| present, a certain amount of information will need | | | | been born during the night just as we had told her |
| to be shared. In a family that is extremely | | | | it would happen. We were the happiest little family |
| modest, the parents need to discuss their level of | | | | in the world." 11 Sandra Anderson had her son |
| comfort with having their children see the mother | | | | Josiah in a hospital with many interventions. When |
| somewhat naked. If mother is not comfortable | | | | she became pregnant with her second child, she |
| with this idea, then it may be better to plan for | | | | was determined to have a natural birth and to |
| the children to be there but not in the room | | | | include Josiah in this very family-centered event. |
| where the birth will be taking place. Of course, | | | | He was 2 1/2 years old. Her perspective of his |
| other concerns such as passing involuntary feces, | | | | experience was that he was comfortable with the |
| amniotic fluid and blood may be embarrassing to | | | | whole situation. An added benefit for her, was |
| some mothers (or fathers) who would prefer to | | | | that he reminded her that she would not be in |
| not have their older children present. Sometimes | | | | labor forever, as he asked, "Where are my |
| women make noises while they labor and push. A | | | | tinkertoys" and "I want a peanut butter sandwich." |
| mother must be sure that she is comfortable | | | | She felt Josiah added a "wonderful spirit of |
| making those necessary sounds with her children | | | | spontaneity to the birth." 12 Children have a |
| present. At some point during the birth, their | | | | different perspective on birth and do not |
| mother will be unclothed in order to birth the baby | | | | necessarily "see" it as adults do. One woman |
| and nurse the newborn. If the children will be able | | | | remembered how after the birth of her fifth child, |
| to witness the birth, they need to know where | | | | her fou-year-old came into the room and noticed |
| the baby is going to come out and a little bit | | | | the furniture had been rearranged. This so |
| about how the process works. How detailed these | | | | interested her that she went and got her other |
| explanations become will depend on the age and | | | | siblings to see the room. One family felt that |
| curiousity of the child or children.Parent | | | | having the children included from the start of the |
| preparationProbably the best preparation is good | | | | pregnancy through the birth was very important |
| communication between parents. For parents who | | | | and wrote, "The midwife asked us every day |
| feel they need more knowledge, a consumer | | | | how the baby was, and the children delighted in |
| oriented childbirth course may be time well-spent. | | | | telling her all that had happened since her last visit. |
| Many of these courses include discussions of | | | | These may appear to be trivial details. But when I |
| children at birth. Some even have a class devoted | | | | read of the break-up of families perhaps they are |
| to the siblings, to help the parents prepare them | | | | not so trivial, but vitally important factors instead." |
| for their new brother or sister. Those who are | | | | 11StudiesA number of studies have been |
| planning to have an unmedicated, natural birth | | | | conducted over the years looking at various |
| need to take good care of themselves. Good | | | | aspects of birth and the effect on children and |
| nutrition is the cornerstone of a healthy | | | | families. A few studies have found that one of |
| pregnancy and goes hand in hand with a lifestyle | | | | the reasons parents choose a home birth is |
| that includes adequate exercise and avoids | | | | specifically for the opportunity for all family |
| smoking, alcohol and drugs. A healthy woman | | | | members to have a positive experience. Lewis |
| stands a very good chance of giving birth to a | | | | Mehl noted that the children he studied had |
| healthy baby. The place of birth must be | | | | accurate information about birth and saw the |
| agreeable to the mother and hopefully the father, | | | | event as a good experience. Another researcher, |
| too. 6 | | | | Chase, found that mothers noted less sibling |
| AdvantagesThere are numerous positive aspects | | | | rivalry between sibllings who were present at the |
| to having children present at their sibling's birth. | | | | birth. Curry comments that children blame the |
| The family is together for a family event, they | | | | new baby when mother disappears to go to the |
| feel a part of it. Psychologically, they are not | | | | hospital, but when children are included in the birth, |
| locked out of a family experience. Home birth | | | | they see the new baby as a "gift." When children |
| helps with this regard also because mother and | | | | were allowed at births, their view of birth became |
| baby are always there, whereas if mom | | | | a real experience and not the mysterous, scarey, |
| disappears and shows up days later with the | | | | life-or-death event portrayed in the media. They |
| baby, the children left behind may feel they were | | | | were not separated from their mother or father |
| abandoned and are jealous of the new baby. 2, | | | | and so by-passed the separation anxiety that |
| 8ProblemsWith younger children, fear is often an | | | | many children suffer when their siblings are born |
| issue that arises, especially if the mother is | | | | in a hospital that does not permit their presence. |
| making noises, working hard, or has her face | | | | It is felt that the presence of children at birth also |
| grimaced in pain. Having someone at the birth | | | | affects how well the siblings bond, sinimlar to the |
| whose sole function is to take care of the children | | | | mother-infant bonding that occurs immediately |
| can ease this problem. Sometimes little children | | | | after birth. 2 While not a truly scientific study, Dr. |
| become bored by the labor and that person can | | | | Michelle Harrison's informal study of children over a |
| take them for a walk or play with them. 8 Child | | | | two hour time during which they were actively |
| preparation 1) discuss with children what will | | | | speaking about birth and related issues, makes a |
| happen a) pregnancy, labor and birth b) read | | | | couple of points. She notes that the conversations |
| books about birth c) watch birth videos d) answer | | | | about birth seemed so serious, where as when |
| questions in an age-appropriate way 2) keep | | | | the children were discussing animal births, they |
| conversations about birth positive 3) take children | | | | were livlier. Her interpretation includes the insight |
| with you to prenatals so they become familiar | | | | that they may perceive talk about birth as being |
| with your birth attendant and some of the | | | | more for adults. Some children did talk about bad |
| routines (BP, pulse, palpation, etc.) 4) give each | | | | outcomes and Dr. Harrison writes that this affirms |
| child a job to do during labor or birth or after a) | | | | the idea that birthing babies is serious business. |
| give massage b) get drinks for mom c) make | | | | One topic that was somewhat surprising was a |
| meals d) cut cord e) dress baby, etc. 5) have | | | | discussion about talking about birth at school. They |
| caretaker present for children who need someone | | | | tended to feel that it was not ok to talk about |
| 6) have a party for new baby after the birth for | | | | their birth experience at school or with with their |
| siblings 4, 7 | | | | teachers or peers because the experience was |
| Guidelines for Children at Birth*children must be | | | | not a familiar one.4 1 |
| able to come and go as they need *caregiver will | | | | Hathaway, Marjie and Jay, Children at Birth, 1978, |
| take care of smaller chilren's needs *children will | | | | page 1. 2. NAPSAC, Chapter 68, pages 877-895. 3. |
| stay in their own home either before, during or | | | | Hathaway, pages 11-21. 4. NAPSAC, Chapter 67, |
| after the birth *only a familiar person will wake up | | | | pages 869-876. 5. Hathaway, pages 31-34. 6. |
| a young sleeping child *reassure children that | | | | Hathaway, pages 41-58. 7. Hathaway, pages |
| everything is alright *let the children get to know | | | | 105-106. 8. Hathaway, pages 131-174. 9. |
| each other in both planned (give a gift) and | | | | Thompson Family, 21st Century Obstetrics Now!, |
| unplanned ways 2ExperiencesFamily after family | | | | Vol. 1, Chapter 18, pages 239-253. 10. NAPSAC, |
| documented their births with older siblings present | | | | 21ST Century Obstetrics Now!, Vol 3, Chapter 65, |
| in Children at Birth. Nearly all the children who | | | | pages 857-863. 11. Kitzinger, Sheila, Birth at Home, |
| were interviewed were very pleased to have | | | | 1981, pages101-111. 12. NAPSAC, Chapter 66, |
| been at the birth and were not frightened by the | | | | pages 865-867.Yvonne Cryns has degrees in |
| actual birth. One story near the end highlighted the | | | | nursing and law. She is the co-founder of Nursing |
| reason a caregiver is needed for the children. This | | | | Programs - Midwives.net - Yvonne also produced |
| little girl was firghtened by the mother's efforts to | | | | a video about midwives: |
| pucsh the baby out and left the room, refusing to | | | | Yvonne is a nationally-credentialed CPM, a |
| re-enter. Then someone noticed she was upset | | | | professional homebirth midwife. |